I’m hanging up my muzzle.

After 10 years in this greyt sport I have decided that I must move on. This is because 99.9999999% of the people I have met in greyhound racing love the dogs, care for them better than humans and treat them like the superstars they deserve to be treated as. I have sadly had the displeasure of dealing with 2 people that make up the exception that proves the rule. Greyhounds love chasing that pesky bunny and this is my greyhound story:

I got into greyhounds when I was 16 when my father got persuaded into purchasing a dog with 3 of his friends in his local pub; this bitch, Bubbles, went on to give me my greatest moment in greyhound racing (see below for my top 3 moments). She ran at Hall Green for Simon and there was where I fell in love with the sport and the dogs as characters (Bubbles made it to open class where she was unlucky in a 6 bend maiden at Nottingham at that third bend there).

At HG, I met John Halliday (the bookie) who has been so kind to my family over all of these years and like so many people in this greyt industry, is a lifelong friend to me and my family. There, I also had the huge pleasure of meeting the brothers Les and John who have been in the game for so long; what they don’t know about dog racing isn’t worth knowing and they taught me so much which was supremely kind of them (that gamble from 2012 still hasn’t won yet!!!).

After several years of fantastic ups and downs at HG (which John Halliday kindly cheered them all on for us, even if they had been backed!), I met Jackpot one bitterly cold night at Crayford; Jackpot (I have been told that is his name but it’s a questionable story) was on the phone relaying the action to a fellow owner of their open racing marathon dog (and what a dog Champ was at work) and we were the only people (bar his charming father Dave) who had braved the outside to watch the hounds.

Come the Derby that year, I went to Wimbledon to watch Rio Quattro’s Derby. If ever I have seen such a sad state of affairs it is the condition of London’s only greyhound stadium. Support @wewantwimbledon, support Paschal and for goodness sake rebuild the stadium with the same greyhound track in the middle. Pressurise Mayor Khan into doing the right thing: greyhound racing with affordable housing. Blimey.

At Wimbledon on the Wednesday of the first round, it was sadly pretty quiet except for two gentlemen stood at the back of the stand. We had all backed the same dog and were enjoying his victory. That night, I became friends with Coconut Head (not too far the Bandito!!!). In a whirlwind ride, I then owned open racers with Andy; I do not think I have met a man who loves anything as much as Andy loves greyhounds; if ever you need a dog to be trained, he is your man.

From there, I have met so many gracious and heart-warming people that I know this greyt sport can thrive with the right people running it and regulations improving and most importantly: the whole industry waking up to the 21st century (marking up is done on a sheet of paper instead of taking an authorised photo – come on!!!).

I could go on forever but to name a few, thanks to Sam of Star, Tim, Chris and his son Matt, Cranky Don, Tracey and the Darrens at Simon, Charlie who started this whole saga out, Jan, Vinny at Romford, the two barmen at Wimbledon who serve me from anywhere, John from Yarmouth, Christoph from Shelbourne and even that Welsh Neil: I had the pleasure of meeting you all on this brilliant journey. I have enjoyed every minute of my 10 years in this greyt sport until Thursday May 19th 2:05p.m. I truly thank you all for giving me such joy.

If I have missed anyone I am sorry but you know I mean you too.

My top 3 moments:

1. Bubbles winning an A1 for the first time (at 8/1) on my 18th birthday when my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away 3 months later: she was there that night.

2. Boris going from A8 to A1 at HG and when all barked he had to lead, caught a 28:50 dog that had been gambled in an A2.

3. 4 winners in a row at the end of the Derby Final night 2015 when we all chanted “Easy!” at Reeds. It got to the point where we were cheering the Flyer out the boxes when he broke level with Asia.

The greatest thanks of them all (and look they even get their own paragraph – I’ll never hear the end of it!!!), is to Jason and Paul. I could not have done this final chapter of my journey in mutt racing without you.

I have two retired greyhounds on my sofa and there will be a third soon. I will of course continue to rehome retired hounds who love their work so much.

Enjoy what’s left of the racing,

See you soon,

Jimmy.

How exciting! The Derby paws off tonight and over 200 of the finest hounds from across the UK and that other place over the sea do battle in their workplace for the title of Greyhound Derby victor. It is worth noting how hot the weather has been (I had a bath today!!! Grrrrrrr, I enjoyed it really!) and the fact that the track is normally set-up to run like concrete and be as quick as possible to get the track record to go when these super-quick hounds are fresh, so it will be quick! Whether you agree with it or not, that’s how the conditions will inevitably be so you want to be out and in front like I used to be! Here are my thoughts on the Thursday of Round One (3 qualify unless stated):

Heat 1 – 19:25 (2 Qualify)

How BOLD is this from the Lolly dog, the NAP runs in the first race of the tournament! Calco Flyer will have too much for these unless the Irish dog in 4 is something special (he has good middle but you don’t overtake the Flyer).

Heat 2 – 19:39

The first of Team Lolly to grace his paws on the sand is here in Jaytee Spartacus. He has drawn a tough heat and thankfully 3 qualify as Deanridge Pennys stays 750yds and has useful early (for that trip) and Pinpoint Boom has been continually underestimated by nearly everyone since he arrived on the ferry.

Heat 3 – 19:54 (2Q)

Crokers Champ led the 2014 final of this great tournament and whilst he couldn’t hold on that day, the lightly-raced 4 year old has every chance of dazzling the humans in the crowd with his breathtaking early. The mid-tag is a positive for him moving forward as he ended up in 1 in barked final, but he would prefer to be in 3 in my dog’s honest opinion. We shall see but Old Joe Golden isn’t a back-runner by trade and may be led. Holdem Chico is no mug at his level.

Heat 4 – 20:10 (2Q)

Bramble Bruno (ex-Bruno Ya Know) has been spending his working life over the optimum trip of 2 bends but you cannot help but feel his humans bought him to the UK to have a crack at this. He has a tough heat here as Castell Henry, Sparta Flame, Tynwald Rodney and Pinpoint Den can all run but at 7/1 I’ll find out if Bruno stays 480m on an uber fast surface, or whether he needs a licenced taxi.

Heat 5 – 20:26 (2Q)

Any price on Jaytee Jet with a solo take it. 8/13. BOL!

Heat 6 – 20:42

Whether Shutthebackdoor has the necessary early to go with them deeper in the tournament is debatable but he’s the type to win a few rounds turning about 3rd, he can follow first round victor 2015 Bellmore Neymar round and beat him. Hell Letloose is a decent hound at his level and Willy Whitesocks likes to chop the bend so hounds prepare to brace at the first if he’s there!

Heat 7 – 20:58

Triple Category One winner Do It For Twiggy is the selection to beat a perhaps under-the-weather Jaytee Dutch. Uluru Candy is a decent sprinter for Charlie Lister OBE and could go well from the front; Lenson Santi can run if he’s on the bunny which is hard to envisage here; Oakfield Caesar is finally coming to form and could be a lively outsider to go deep in the competition.

Heat 8 – 21:15

Droopys Roddick has only just been uslurped at the head of the antepost list on his own and is a worthy favourite here. Whether he should be so short in this race when he wants to be in trap 1 and has the scintillating early of Clondoty Alex (who needs oxygen at the 4th bend) on his inside is debatable. The value is Knockbawn Caviar who has won a trial stakes and whilst he wants further so he can get on that elusive bunny, he could easily get round the outside here if the anticipated chaos unfurls on his inner.

Heat 9 – 21:32

Eden The Kid, 2015 Derby finalist, wins this running backwards. Could even lead and then the clock-watchers need to start looking for 27-something.

Heat 10 – 21:48

The second of Team Lolly has a go here and Droopys Turin has his box (although he has flown out from 4 before) and this tight railer can turn at least handy to the Irish early of Mucho Macho Man.

Heat 11 – 22:03

Blue Cafu leads and wins this. I’m not a Meerkat, I’m a dog (Woof!), but this is simples.

Heat 12 – 22:18

Lenson Panda (ex-Barnfield Panda) was bought for days like this. Leads and it’s all over. Whether he can run from behind against better sorts later in the tournament is a debate for another day; this will be over after 5 strides.

Heat 13 – 22:35

A decent little contest can go the way of the pacey wide Aventador. He can sweep round as Ballymac Darragh isn’t a railer but isn’t wide either (hence the mid-tag I guess!!!), Greenhill Gem isn’t wide etc.

Here are the recommendations (back as a Lolly Goliath also):

19:25 – T2 – Calco Flyer NAP (2 doggie treats @ 11/8)

20:10 – T6 – Bramble Bruno (1 piece of bread @ 7/1)

20:26 – T6 – Jaytee Jet (have what you like on @ 8/13 – absolute certainty)

21:15 – T5 – Knockbawn Caviar (1 breast of chicken @ 12/1)

21:32 – T4 – Eden The Kid (1 snossidge @ 4/5)

21:48 – T1 – Droopys Turin (1 dog bone @ 9/4)

22:03 – T2 – Blue Cafu (1 slice of ham @ 5/4)

22:18 – T1 – Lenson Panda (1 Ryvita (other rye bread brands available and accepted) @ 4/7

So there we have it! It should be a great night’s racing! One of the best week/months of the year! As ever if you have any comments please tweet me, I don’t bark back – I bite! If you are at Wimbledon or watching on RPGTV look out for the dog in expensive shades as that’s me, in disguise, hiding from my adoring fans (in their millions) and fooling the bookmakers – again!

Enjoy the racing,

Jimmy

So here we are, at the start of the greatest tournament in the world (apart from the National Sprint)! Who will claim the historic prize and wrestle it from the now-retired hero Rio Quattro, who timed his best run of the competition last year to perfection as he reeled in the ever-so-unlucky hound Farloe Blitz? With bookies paying six places and with such a vast contrast in the quality of the field, here are the six hounds for the Lolly Faithful to go to each-way glory with. Here are your finalists (in order of preference):

Droopys Buick (recommended at 40/1 – now 14/1 Joint-Favourite)

Set to become the biggest Newcastle legend since Alan Sheareeeeeeeeeeeeeeer, Droopys Buick has enough early, enough late and enough desire to lift the Greyhound Derby trophy aloft with his paws come Saturday June 4th at Wimbledon. As a pup he had epic battles with Camp Joker (who has franked the form since tremendously) and now that he has trained on, Buick is the complete four bend hound in my eyes. To win the Derby (and thus keep qualifying through 6 gruelling rounds) a hound must have a telling turn of pace at some point of the race: Buick has that. Whether you look at his win at the Monmore Festival where he had a longer lead than my old mum’s hoover, his breathtaking pace in the Juvenile when he was chopped off at the third trying to undertake, or his quickest-of-the-year 28:04 round Wimbledon; good luck knocking this hound out and it will take a good one to beat him in the final, should he get there luck-permitting. Paws crossed.

Jaytee Spartacus (recommended at 80/1 – now 25/1)

I like a hound with desire when they’re losing and they don’t quit their job: the progressive Jaytee Spartacus has that in abundance. In the Puppy Derby final (over course-and-distance) he had no hope of reeling in Droopys Roddick (who was impressive but had his box and a solo – could be in trouble in the first round with the rapid Clondoty Alex next to him) Spartacus drew all his courage to fend off the remainder and bark that THIS IS JAYTEE!!! He has subsequently won the Monmore Puppy Derby (which has thrown decent sorts in the past) by obliterating a field in the first round and then cruising to victory in the final without seeing another colleague. He has taken to Wimbledon well in his trials (could have developed further as a young tyke) and he’s no 80/1 shot that the Lolly Faithful are on.

Lenson Sanchez (66/1)

Lenson Sanchez was unlucky to be eliminated last year and the 2014 Puppy Derby winner (over C&D) can get to the final this year now that he has trained on and become and even more well-rounded hound. He doesn’t chuck his dog towel in if he’s behind, he has enough early if he needs a ping like me, and he should go very well if he can negotiate his tricky first round draw. He has been neglected in the market and by human compilers but not by me.

Ballymac Brogan (100/1)

It is quite staggering to me that this hound who has beaten the best in training over his career 11 times, is 100/1 for Derby glory. Yes he is a bit quirky and can miss the break, yes he can decide to twiddle his toes in behind and not get on with it if he’s not leading, but his human that drives him to work summed it up: “if he leads it will take a good one to catch him”. I’ll have some 100/1 he leads every race and goes off favourite in the final if he achieves the first 5.

Droopys Turin (200/1)

200/1 on one of the fastest dogs in the UK just baffles me. He’s won his last six (posting serious times including at Plough Lane), has trained on from when he was doing 28:04 in A1 round Monmore and he has his box (trap 1) in the first round where he will go off favourite and must go close: he will surely qualify! 200/1?

Pass To Go (200/1)

The final string to add to our bow-wow is a Romford specialist (sub-24 seconds going backwards doing a headstand whilst juggling his balls) who has won a trial stakes and is 200/1 because his times aren’t flashy. Times are an indication in my workplace; who did they beat and why is a much more useful indicator. Pass To Go may eventually be found out but humans thought that about a former Romford specialist (who in fairness ran other tracks well), who came from last-to-first as a typical early-paced hound: Blonde Snapper. At 200/1 I’ll find out if this is the new Snapper.

So there we are! Remember they are all each-way to six places and there is a huge amount of luck needed along the way in the Derby!

Also remember: if you can’t be lucky, be good.

Enjoy the best month of the year,

Jimmy